Live

There are over eight billion people in the world. Everyone is different in some way, whether in appearance or character. Each of us is unique. When did we manage to turn this difference into a competition to see who is better and create in us the need to compare ourselves?

American professor and writer Brene Brown said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Why do we allow ourselves to be robbed of the joy of who we are every day by our minds?

Maybe the internet is to blame. Maybe the constant stream of content that shows us daily people our age who have won a prestigious award, started a business, published a book or just become parents.

We sit on our beds, our eyes swollen from screens, and we feel like we missed something. We missed something. As if we were late somewhere, but no one told us where we were supposed to arrive.

Experiences

This feeling is also known to student Andrea, who shared her experience with us. She also struggled with the feeling of being behind. She was troubled by a feeling of fear, a little envy, social and societal pressure, stress and sadness.

When we asked her how she copes with this feeling, she answered that it is not easy, and it is quite difficult at first. However, we need to realize that everyone’s path is different and not to force ourselves.

If she had to give any advice, it would be to first think about our feelings. Why do we really feel that way. If something can be changed about the situation, then do it, but if not, then don’t stress about it unnecessarily.

Student Kristína also gave us advice on how to cope with these feelings. She says that it is useful to remember two situations when you felt behind and two when your friend or acquaintance was behind.

We usually have a hard time remembering the latter because we don’t notice others as much as we do ourselves. This means that we are probably not alone in thinking that others live better lives.

What the experts say

Psychologists in the Verywell Mind article emphasize that the feeling that we are lagging behind in life often stems from comparing ourselves to others and unrealistic expectations.

They point out that everyone has a unique pace and not everything is visible from the outside. They suggest practical steps: stop comparing ourselves, identify our own values, focus on small steps forward, limit social networks and remind ourselves of what we have already achieved. Practicing gratitude and working with a therapist to change the narrative about ourselves also helps.

Life is not a race

The truth is that no one walks at the same pace. Carl Jung once said: “A shoe that fits one person, squeezes another. There is no recipe for life that fits everyone.” What takes one person a year may take another ten, and it will still be fine. We are not racehorses running on the same track. We each have a different path with different terrain, different weather, different intersections.

Fatigue from pressure and time

And then there’s the fatigue. Not from work or school, but from the pressure to always be on top. We see talented people who seem to be doing everything right. They’re successful, charismatic, and from our perspective, far ahead of us. In contrast, our own progress seems slow, pointless. Burned out before we’ve even gotten going.

This strange fatigue from time creeps in quietly. We’re not old. We’re in our prime, they say. And yet we often find ourselves nostalgic for a childhood that wasn’t so long ago.

We remember old TV shows that are 20 years old, toys that aren’t made anymore, the internet that was different. We’re young, but at the same time, we sometimes feel like it’s too late to start something and too early to give up.

Maybe the other person was luckier. Maybe they had different circumstances. But luck is not a one-time event, it can also be found in small things. You have it too. You just may not notice it because you are always looking at other people.

How do you deal with it?

Start by acknowledging that there is no such thing as being late. There are no official milestones in life that you must reach by a certain age.

You disconnect from comparison by connecting with yourself. Ask yourself: what do I really want? What makes me happy? And remember that the very fact that you are asking is proof that you are moving forward even if it is at a slightly different pace.

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