Julee – a young drag performer
she/her in drag, he/him out of drag
When asked about the first time he noticed that he was different, Julee told us how he never really got a chance to think about the fact that he wasn’t like others. Since he was always expressive and a bit flamboyant, even at a young age, people would single him out and resort to name-calling – before Julee even really knew what ‘gay’ meant. Like many of us, he first came to terms with his sexuality around the age of 12 with the help of the internet.
He continued to explore his identity and interests, eventually discovering RuPaul’s Drag Race, and through it – drag as an artform. He always believed that there were queer people around him, but he hadn’t found them until a summer camp in high school where he bonded with a few others about Drag Race. After that summer, he started to seek out more connections with queer people, trying to integrate into the community and eventually making his debut in drag 3 years ago.
Julee remembers his first reaction to the family values law being uncertainty and fear. He eventually overcame these emotions, by being even more involved in the community. If previously he would dedicate 5% of his life to gatherings, activities and meetings centered around queer people, now he dedicates 35%. As a result of similar efforts from others, the community actually grew tighter-knit, and previously taken steps into acceptance weren’t necessarily lost – “Socially, we advanced to a certain point, and I believe that we are still there, but now people have a bigger outlet to express their hatred.”
Julee also talked about how important queer friendly third places are and the challenges they face. Some of them have been bought out, others closed, and at times it begins to feel like there aren’t many spaces left for unencumbered self-expression in Georgia.
Queer people from conservative countries often struggle to integrate national values and traditions into their identity, and it’s the same for Julee – “I am Queer first and then Georgian. For me helping my community is a bigger priority than helping my country as a whole.” He believes that all queer people follow the same prototype, even on a global scale. Eventually, Julee plans to immigrate to a more queer-friendly country. He believes that it is impossible to not have your work and queer life separated in Georgia, which makes his dream of a full-time career as a drag performer unattainable.
“Do not wait for someone else, do as much as you can right now. Not losing hope will sooner or later lead us to overcoming these problems.” – he said, when asked about how we can overcome this drought.
Daisy – a young bisexual student from Georgia who now studies in the EU
she/her
Around the time she had her first kiss with a boy, she also had a similar experience with a girl at a sleepover. Previously her best friend had come out as bisexual, and around 2020, many of her friends also started coming out, so she always had a supportive group of people to come to. However, at the same time Daisy was always aware of biphobia, whether it was coming from straight men or those at home.
“My very homophobic mother telling me and my best friend, who is also pansexual, that we could tell her everything we wanted, except to not start with the bi bullshit,” she said, when asked about some of the earliest instances of biphobia she experienced.
Bisexual people often describe how they are on the outskirts of society, either not being “gay enough” for the queer community or not “straight enough” to integrate into a heteronormative life. Daisy had a similar experience where during periods of time when she would have experiences with women, she’d feel more connected to her identity, as compared to when she would date men. She also told us about the sexism she has noticed within the community, “I think sexism has always been prevalent in the community, especially when it comes to bi people… if a guy says he’s bi then he’s gay, and if a girl says she’s bi then she’s straight. The assumption is always that men are supposed to be desired.”
Since Daisy has been living in the EU for a few years now, she has noticed differences between queer life abroad as compared to Georgia. Back home, the biggest tragedy a parent can experience is their child being different in some way, whereas in western Europe it is much more likely for a person to be accepted by their family. Thus, queer people don’t need to depend on each other for support or survival as much, and the community is not nearly as tight-knit. However, since she has noticed a trend of her generation becoming increasingly right-leaning, she expects this to change.
Living abroad has always created a sense of patriotism in Daisy, one that is challenged any time she comes back to Georgia. “A country is what its people stand for, and when you see that a lot of people don’t stand for what you believe in, that patriotism that you might have felt gently flickers away and disappears.”
Finally, we discussed how we can escape the path we are on culturally. It’s true that the pendulum has always swung from periods of acceptance to social conservatism, and that is what we are experiencing now, “I think whenever the world becomes destabilized, the instinct of people is to go back to what is prescribed as normal.”
In the long-term, Daisy believes that education is our only solution. Whether it be the weaponization of identities used by politicians to target religious minorities, the rise in sexism, homophobia and transphobia, it can only be overcome by creating a society that is educated.
Nymphus – a trans woman and a drag performer
she/her
Nymphus hails from a smaller town in Georgia, where she had a difficult childhood. When she was young, she didn’t identify as a woman yet, but she always stood out. She was artsy, creative, and as a result, often singled out. This led to her being treated like a spectacle – everyone was curious, but nobody was interested in standing by her side.
Being from a small town meant that she didn’t have any queer people who she could look up to, the only place where she could really see representation was in the media. She moved to the capital, Tbilisi, to pursue higher education, quickly realizing how hard it was to find employment. Nymphus recalls a job interview, where she was obviously qualified, the interviewer was impressed, but she got a rejection letter – most likely due to her identity.
The community wasn’t as accepting to a newcomer as one might have hoped for, she only felt truly integrated after her debut in drag. When talking about infighting, she told PulseZ that from her perspective, trans women and gay men will always be bonded. However, at times, trans women can see their past selves in gay men, while gay men can’t forgive them for leaving behind the male identity, which breeds animosity.
Outside the community, it’s still hard to not feel like a novelty. Even though she leads a quiet life, people still tend to stare and gossip. Trans people are often the subject of fetishization, especially when it comes to having a love life. “Men will call you male to make you feel degraded, but at the same time they’ll do anything to get into your bed. You are hated and desirable at the same time.”
For Nymphus, being Georgian is an inseparable part of her identity, something that can’t be taken away by bigotry. Just like others, her first reaction to the family values law was fear. With time, she overcame it – especially when she saw how trans people were still fighting and existing. As for now, the law is not actively being used to prosecute people, but the threat of it and malicious prosecution still stands.
In the future Nymphus plans to move abroad, to pursue a fuller life. As for now, people in Georgia need a new spark to start protesting for their rights again.
Cyclonus – a non-binary individual
they/them
Around the time Cyclonus was going through puberty, they started to realise that they were different. Since they didn’t have any education about queer terminology, they were able to label themselves with the help of people they met online, leading to them initially identifying as bisexual. After some time and introspection, they also found the proper language to describe their relationship with gender, so in high school Cyclonus came to terms with being both non-binary and gay.
In university, Cyclonus actively sought out connections with queer people. They certainly existed, but they were dispersed, so it took some time to find them. This was especially more difficult since Cyclonus was born and raised in a smaller town in western Georgia, where gay bars and exclusively queer spaces don’t necessarily exist.
Since the community is quite small, Cyclonus hasn’t experienced much infighting, but at the same time they have noticed a trend of cisgender gay men who distance themselves from other queer people. According to them these are usually the men trying to fit into a heteronormative life, ones who say “I’m not like other gays.”
At first Cyclonus struggled to still identify as Georgian, but they learned to accommodate it after reading up on history, and realizing that Georgian queer people existed before them.
“Since they [the government] are pushing against queer people in Georgia, that also means that common folks are also pushing against queer people, which makes it very unsafe to exist here. One wrong turn and you might end up dead.”
For Cyclonus, the family values law was a final stripping of rights. If previously police would defend queer and trans individuals in extreme scenarios, for example against physical violence, now even that seems unattainable. This is the main difference from certain eastern European EU countries in their eyes, while they are similarly conservative, it’s much fairer since they have a legal framework to protect queer rights. When it comes to western countries, their queer reality becomes even more unrelatable for someone who’s arguing for basic rights.
Cyclonus plans to go abroad, but for now, they believe that we have to stay vigilant and seek out community.
